I hate you, I love you/
Leave, please don’t go away.
When Jewel’s first album came out I thought she might end up being bigger than The Beatles. Her first album had three legit all-time-great songs, several good songs and maybe only one real clunker. She was 19. The first couple Beatles albums were only okay. Was it possible we had the next Beatles right here in front of us? Imagine how great her follow up work would be? Alas, she only produced one other good song a couple albums later, “Grey Matter”.
That is still a tremendous career, but it was quite a drop-off from the crazy heights of what might be the most successful debut album of all time.
“Grey Matter” discusses how her feelings can run hot and cold on a guy but she appreciates that he is always steady for her. It is a sweet song, and not well known. “Grey Matter” was never performed in the studio. She recorded herself singing it on the road and put it on “This Way” live. It is a magical performance. You can really hear everything about what is great about Jewel in this recording. She is an amazing live solo performer.
Just Jewel with her guitar is crazy. Her voice is unique and sounds amazing here. Her guitar work is solid: finger-picking on an acoustic guitar makes for great sounding music. Also, notice the depth of her voice. She has all the power of any of the divas, but she uses restraint and only belts out two or three words towards the end. And there are never any crazy vocal runs.
I got to see Jewel open for Bob Dylan before she had released her first album. (I was there for Dylan). It was clear to everyone there she was special. She was extremely beautiful, had a sharp wit and handled the crowd well. She also told us about how she was just learning the guitar and she just starting writing a song with the two easiest chords she could play, then she sang a verse of her new song “Who will save your soul.” It was pretty amazing.
Grey Matter Lyrics
Hate you, I love you
Leave, please
Don’t go away
Can’t decide if
I like your face
Or if I wish
It would stray
You’re a child but
You’re malicious
You’re sweet but
Don’t remember my name
And heads you win
And tails I’m lost
And love equals pain
I am drifting
Without an anchor
Through your ambiguous region
A strange continent
Immune to all reason
And I’m flattered by
Your gray matter
Inside my skin
I feel your tongue
Telling me I’m dirty
And licking my bones
A surge against silence
A knife across a plate
Makes the sound
Of need on hate
I am drifting
Without an anchor
Through your ambiguous region
A strange continent
Immune to all reason
And I’m flattered by
Your gray matter
And I do not understand
Why a woman can’t
Just love a man
You’re amusing
You’re a real cool show
With your meat hooks
And barbed wire carnival
You got glitter in your pocket
You got mothballs in your soul
From too many false teeth
And greasy flash bulbs
I am drifting
Without an anchor
Through your ambiguous region
A strange continent
Immune to all reason
And I’m flattered by
Your gray matter
I love you
I hate you
Songwriters: Jewel Kilcher